On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
