is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
