Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize