i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
