I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
