I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Your cock deserves a montage
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
