you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
