If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
wow bdsm is so cute
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
