you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
