i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
