you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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