when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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