I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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