Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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