Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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