I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
