My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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