This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
