went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
