it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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