I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
tonight lets celebrate not being married
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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