we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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