Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
my liver is dry heaving
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
