where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
