Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
