So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
