I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
