she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize