Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
