so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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