I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
