The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize