this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
