so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
