we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
