Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Hippo gnu deer
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
