Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
