My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
