miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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