wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
why do cheetos always look like penises
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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