ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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