No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
