I'm jealous of your bromance
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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