Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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