he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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