you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
