I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
