new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
