Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
