I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
