We got so high we made milksteak
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
