You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
