You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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