We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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