So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
