Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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