Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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