fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
