I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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