today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
