I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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