Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
