just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
