at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
is it fun? or sober?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
