I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
